Prairie Home Companion Beer Limericks

There was a young man who loved Schlitz
Which he drank in his room at the Ritz
With pate (very rich)
And olives from which
His servants had cut out the pits.

There was a young man who loved Pabst
He drank it until he collapsed
He gave up beer
For Lent every year
And on Easter morning, relapsed.

There was a young man who loved Millers
More than all other painkillers
He drank secretly
In a dark shadowy
Doorway hidden by pillars.

There was a young man who loved Blatz
He drank it straight out of the vats
Along with a platter
Of vegetable matter
And another of animal fats.

At A Halloween Party A Ghost

At a Halloween party a ghost
As he walked arm-in-arm with the host
Said: "Unseen to play tricks,
And with people to micks,
Is the thing that amuses me most!"

Good Beer Always Tickled Joe Plank - A Drinking Limerick

Good beer always tickled Joe Plank,

One evening two gallons he drank,

Then a stranger nearby,

Remarked with a sigh,

Great Scott! That's no man - that's a tank!

A Tutor Who Tooted The Flute - A Limerick

A tutor who tooted the flute,

Was teaching two tooters to toot,

Said the two to the tutor,

"Is it harder to toot, or

To tutor two tooters to toot?"

A Halloween Limerick - Said A Bat To An Owl In An Oak

Said a Bat to an Owl in an oak-

"This Halloween Night is a joak!"

And that wise-looking bird

Replied: "Yes, it's absird,

I was thinking so when I awoak."

Cried A Witch To Her Cat - We Must Go

Cried a witch to her cat - We must go
And visit these people belo
Who say that they doubt us
Yet can't do without us
They're the most inconsistent I kno