The Jockey's at Every Race Course

The jockey's at ev'ry race course
His mission's to sit on a horse
If you've gotten a tip
The horse is sure to slip
And you end with a case of remorse

The Poker Cut Up - Vintage Limerick Postcard

His dough made him feel like a cut up,

Tho' he stalled as a thought lit his nut up

Said he'd bet 'twas a cinch,

The whole works would be pinched,

But they told him to put up or shut up

He Longed to See Shepherd's Bush Expedition - A Limerick

There was a young man of position
Longed to see Shepherd's Bush Exhibition
So he went there one day
But I'm sorry to say
He returned in this funny condition.

A Lodger Whose Rent Was Unpaid - A Limerick Postcard

A lodger whose rent was unpaid
Of his landlady was much afraid
With the gravest of airs
He descended the stairs
But his further progress was delayed.

The Old Maid (Not Politically Correct) A Limerick

She's caught a poor cat and a bird
But she can't snare a man, so we've heard
It's the old maid's sad fate
To lose out on a mate
And take tea - but ssh! not a word.

A Young Lady Whose Name, It Was Simons

A young lady whose name, it was Simons,

Was exceedingly fond of white diamonds,

Said, "It's lovely to marry

A man like you Harry,

Who knows how to pick out the fine ones."

A Young Man Named Bill - Limerick Postcard

There was a young man named Bill
Who drank till he made himself ill
When a policeman asked why
He said with a sigh
It's (hic) dreadful how quickly I fill!